Fearless

Honestly, there's barely anything in life that's fair, is there? Even in things that are uncountable. For instance in a friendship or a relationship, there's always one party who cares more and loves more. Or maybe we all just have a different way of expressing ourselves and just because we don't do it the same way, we feel that we do more than the other party and vice versa?

Was thinking today while taking a walk, are birthday parties actually that important? I mean I really love celebrating birthdays for my friends and family. I love to see them happy when they receive presents, when they get surprised. Then again every year I think to myself,"I don't actually wanna celebrate my birthday this year, so what if it's 16 or 18 or 20 or 21? It's just another year, nothing great bout it really." With this thought, the biggest and better birthdays I've ever had would be in primary one and secondary two. In primary one, Mummy planned this really small party for me- I had my two closest cousins over together with my then best friend and her cousin. We played games, we had party finger food, it was amazing. In secondary two, churchies planned a surprise for Ninnart and me. I was really happy and touched that day. I was extremely grateful. Of course I wouldn't forget the impromptu dinner with Kelly, Sabs, Shaun and Ken on my 15th. I wouldn't forget Janice, Ken, ST and Edrick surprising me at my door, spending the day with me on my 16th. I wouldn't forget the tub of B&J my classmates got me for my 18th. But then it hit me that maybe at the end of the day we all just wanna feel special and not be forgotten. It would be pretty sad if many actually forget or don't bother about you, especially on your birthday eh.

I don't really know what's wrong, but I've been thinking about too many random things lately. What's wrong with me?