Letting my guards down

(I think) I am cursed to have a lifetime long trust issue with others.

I used to be someone who trust people way too easily. Our friendship would start with 70% worth of trust, then it's up to you to build it or break it. But even if you break it, I would somehow trust you again eventually. But then again, that's who I used to be.

As you grow up, you make new friends, you lose old friends, people walk in and out of your life as and when they feel like it. While growing up, you'd also face many friendship problems. People backstab you, people pretend to be nice in your face but they're the worst friends you can have.

In the process of all that, I changed. Like they say,"the things you experience in your life, mould you to become who you are".

Now if our friendship blossoms at all, it start with just 20% of trust, you either lose it at first impression or build on from there. I think I've trusted way too much and gotten hurt too much to put too much trust on anyone. Yes, one wrong move you make can get me to dislike you already. That's how fragile my trust wall is. Call me petty if you want.

I've tried too many times to learn to trust people better, but no, better be safe than sorry. I'd rather protect myself with these built up walls than to let them down and let you get to close to me.