Supposed to be extremely busy with editing and compiling grad book stuffs, but ever since the submission of FYP I'm obviously too lazy and tired to do any work at home. Ended up sitting in bed only with my night lights on, fan blowing directly at me, snuggled under my blanket, listening to Joe Brooks and LeeSsang, reading other blogs... And that got me into the mood to write a post of my own. So here I am.
The past 3 months has been crazy-stressful for me especially towards the end, constantly panicking over my project. Thank God for the daily 101% of love, support, and care from baby that kept me going all the way. It was almost 3 to 4 consecutive weeks of staying over in school or at baby's or staying up at home, and man was it hardcore.
Just a few nights before the actual submission day itself, I had a major break down. With the amount of things that kept going wrong and the many things left undone, I was really afraid that I couldn't make it in time. It was a lot of mock ups done, a lot of money spent, a lot of effort put in, a lot of tears wasted, but things just didn't seem to be going right for me. I panicked like mad, I couldn't quite get hold of myself. Just thinking back, it really seemed like I was going to just give up, it seemed like I was really going mad. I just felt like I wasn't up to it.
It wasn't easy at all, but it is definitely all worth it :) I know along the way, I took my stress out on baby and lost my temper at him uncountable number of times, but I'm really grateful that he did not give up on me. Instead, he held me and helped me through my weakest times and constantly cheered me on. Nothing I do or say will ever be able to thank him enough <3 Thanks baby.
On the other hand, you think after submitting that major project, things would get easier and life would be less hard on me? I thought so too. But the entire grad show preparation is driving me c.r.a.z.y. Staying in school from day to night facing the screen the entire day is no joke. Facing countless problems, having to handle politics and the never-ending problems daily, is killing me. Thank God I'm not alone though, and I know the team would be extremely glad with the final work eventually.
All in all, what I can say is even though I'm here ranting and complaining, I know I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss my friends. I'm going to miss this crazy-rushing-for-work thing. I'm going to miss being in school.
Just about 2 more months of school before The Graduation Show and graduation itself. Time passes too fast, no? I can still remember year one days, the projects we did, the many crazy things we did. In a few months time, I wouldn't be able to see baby so much. I guess this would be one of the many changed in our years to come. Me graduating, then baby's turn, me going into work force, then him going into NS. I really don't dare think of those days to come, I don't know if I can handle it as well as I want myself to. I guess you could say I'm scared.
Till the next post,
xx
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